My Underpants Radius Is Already Expanding

On my favorite sitcom, How I Met Your Mother, one of the main characters (Marshall) was unemployed for quite some time.  During this period, he rewards himself by putting on his comfy underpants after interviews.  But then the interviews start getting harder, and fewer and far between.  He finds that he has no reason to take off the comfy underpants, becoming increasingly comfortable in them.  He begins answering the door wearing them, then goes down the hall to pick up the mail without pulling on pants over them.  He becomes so comfortable in them that he goes to a nearby sit down restaurant wearing them.  Marshall’s underpants radius grew as his self-esteem shrank.  He finally took a job because he needed a reason to put pants on.

I realized I’m turning into a Marshall when yesterday noted that I hadn’t taken off–or had a reason to change out of–my boxers in a few days.  It’s hot in the house, my roommate is out of town, I’ve stayed to myself.  Then I went out on the porch looking for a package that I was expecting.  Several times yesterday afternoon.  My underpants radius was expanding.  I sent an email to a friend freaking out that soon enough, it’ll be your typical hot and humid DC summer, and I’ll be heading to the Safeway in my underpants, justifying that they’re plaid thus dressy.  No!

A friend’s office has some temporary data entry they need help doing.  I jumped at the opportunity.  I don’t care how mind numbing the task is, I need a reason to put pants on.

Things Not to Say To the Unemployed, Part One

“Well, you hated your job! Now you don’t have to go back to it!”

Seriously, please take a few seconds to think about what you just said to someone who isn’t sure how they’re going to make rent, cover health care costs, progress professionally, or any of the multitude of other challenges the unemployed person now faces.  No matter how much any of us hated our job, I think I can safely speak for the vast majority of the millions of unemployed people out there that we still would have rather left on our own terms then to have been terminated.

Ugh. The Waiting Game.

It’s 2:42 PM on Tuesday.  I had hoped to hear from two places I applied to last week requesting interviews.  So far nothing.

Now it’s 5:51 PM.  Officially nothing.

I understand that I got laid off because of budget reasons, so it’s not my fault.  That doesn’t help that pang of failure I now get everyday, over and over again. There are only so many jobs out there.  Whoever says they spend “all day” applying for jobs is cannot possibly, actually be applying all day long.  Sure the first few days you apply to a ton, because you have the previous few weeks of postings to sift through.  But after you’ve gotten through the pile, how many jobs are actually posted in your field on a daily basis?  At least in my field, the answer is not that many.

And sweet lord almighty, it’s only been a week!  For those of you out there who have been doing this for months, I have no idea how you have made it this far without going crazy.  I read these stories on CNN yesterday of people still looking after five, six, or more months.

I made a list of “Things I’m Going to Do With All This Time” the other night (see the picture–note that I tried to be super positive at the end there.  Go me!).  Of course topping that list is apply for jobs & get a job.  Next I have making the side consulting stuff I’ve been doing for a while an actual small business, and after that is look into Obama’s recent expansion of the Pell Grant program.  Beyond that is stuff like make a quilt for one of my best friend’s soon-to-be-born daughter, borrow Rosetta Stone from a friend so I can learn Spanish, and go to the gym five times a week (haven’t been once since the lay off)–things that would be great to do, but deep down I know aren’t going to start happening anytime soon because those feel like things you do on vacation .  . . and I am scared to death to start treating this time as such.

So the waiting game continues.

Good to Know About COBRA

COBRA stands for Consolidated Omnibus Budget Reconciliation Act, which is the 1986 bill passed that included a provision allowing certain newly unemployed individuals to continue receiving their now former employer’s health care benefits by buying it themselves.  So for example, my recently former organization’s insurance provider is Blue Cross and I am covered by the organization through May 31; I can purchase COBRA insurance so that I will continue to be covered on June 1.

COBRA can be prohibitively expensive, especially to someone who just lost their job.  The average national cost of COBRA is $600.  For someone like me, whose benefits were not stellar but whose organization was primarily made up of young, health folk, the cost is a lot less.  While I have yet to find out exactly how much it will cost me (as I still have nothing actually in writing from the organization), our HR manager had informed me a few weeks ago that it’s around $260.  You have 60 days to decide whether to enact COBRA coverage.

The number one reason to get COBRA–if you have no other options for health insurance (such as through your domestic partner or spouse)–is if you have a pre-existing condition or are otherwise “unhealthy.”  Insurers can deny you coverage if you seek it on your own for any reason.  Worse, if you have a lapse in coverage–even just a few days–between insurers, your second insurance company–even if it’s another employer-sponsored provider–can deny you coverage or make you wait a period before covering parts or all of you.  If there is no lapse, they are required the continue covering you.  No, I still haven’t figured out why this is (explain away if you know in the comments).  I had to deal with this a few years ago when a new employer’s provider mistakenly thought there was a lapse in my coverage and was refusing to cover certain prescriptions and appointments.

If you are healthy and have no pre-existing conditions, it may be worth looking into insurance alternatives (check out this article from Kiplinger’s) because they may cost less than COBRA.

Here’s one awesome thing about COBRA: President Obama recently signed into law a provision stating that individuals are only responsible for paying 35 percent of COBRA fees for the first nine months.  Hooray!

Yep, I Have No Idea What I’m Doing

I joined millions of unemployed Americans last week when my organization chose to eliminate my department and lay me off.  While I had seen it coming for the last several months, when it finally did happen, I was shocked.  I cleaned out of my office, headed out the door, and realized I seriously have no idea what I’m going to do.

I mean, I do know: update resume and continue applying for jobs, which I have been steadily doing since November.  But I’ve gotten ONE interview since I started applying.  I’m realistic enough to know interviews are going to magically start scheduling themselves now that I have all this added time on my hands.

I’m in my late-20s.  I’ve essentially worked since the day I graduated college.  My resume, if I do say so myself, looks pretty damn good for someone with seven years of work experience.  However, I know that for the positions I’m qualified, I’m going up against people with even more experience under their belt.   So I’m applying for jobs I’m overqualified to do and still not getting interviews.

Last week was tough.  I applied for everything that seemed to make sense, and then had this immediate sense of . . . now what?  My now former employers haven’t figured out my severance in any logical way, I have nothing in writing, I have no idea when my last day actually was, and so I can’t apply for unemployment yet.  What am I supposed to do about health insurance?  I take a daily medication that costs more than $200 without insurance, and COBRA (according to my former HR manager) costs around $250 a month–which will probably be about a quarter of what I’ll receive from unemployment, at least.

So I started a blog.  I figured there have to be others going through this–with the unemployment rate officially at 8.6 percent, and a ton of other people unaccounted for in that stat because they can no longer apply for unemployment “insurance” for a variety of different reasons.